I Don't Wanna Lie

Mother's Day: A McShep AU wherein Meredith has always been a girl and John is in love with her now more than ever. ~1500 words.


Author's Note: I've always been obsessed with the idea of always-a-girl Rodney being pregnant. That was always the endgame for my previous Meredith fics, but since they're on an indefinite hiatus, I figured what better day to write that than Mother's Day? This is an indulgent, sickly sweet (in my opinion) little fic. I'm actually a little embarrassed to have written it, but c'est la vie. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there on my f-list. I don't know exactly how many of you there are, but yes. Hope your day is as wonderful as Meredith's is.  

---

It's going on zero nine hundred when John slides his palm over the control crystal outside of his quarters. The door slides open with a quiet swoosh and as soon as he steps inside, mindful of heavy footfalls that'll no doubt wake Meredith, the door closes and the lock snicks into place.

She's exactly where he left her almost an hour ago; curled up on the bed with one long leg thrown over the body pillow that had long ago taken over his duties as cuddle partner.

John hates that pillow and can't wait until the day he can burn it, but for now, it does the one thing John can't. It helps Meredith sleep.

The pregnancy has taken it's toll, John reflects. Her lashes flutter against the dark circles that have become permanent fixtures under eyes and even in sleep, her face is twisted down in a crooked frown that he longs to kiss away.

She stretches under his intense gaze and rolls over carefully onto her back, blinking owlishly at him in the mid-morning light streaming through the large windows. She's been sleeping later and later; John doesn't blame her.

"Hey, good morning," he greets.

"Time s'it?"

"Little after nine."

"Oh man," she sighs, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Why'd you let me sleep so late?"

"Thought you could use it," he says. He leans over and presses his lips to hers, savoring the feeling of the soft sigh before she kisses back. "Mandatory rest day," he reminds her. "You have nowhere you need to be today."

"I always have somewhere I need to be," she snorts. She struggles into a sitting position, frowning at the effort. "This is a little ridiculous now and I hold you fully responsible for my inability to even sit without breaking a sweat. I swear, once this little beast is out, I'm wrapping you from head to toe in saran wrap before you're allowed within a ten foot radius of me."

John, wisely, says nothing. Instead, reaches out and brushes a strand of hair back from her face, letting his fingers linger for just a moment. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fat and uncomfortable," she says. "Same as yesterday and the day before that." There's definitely a tone there, but after a minute, she softens. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so... so..." She shrugs, at a loss for words. "I'm just so tired. I feel like no matter how long I sleep, it's not enough and, and, and... I'm whining."

"You're allowed," he grins. "But I'll tell you what: why don't you hang out here a little longer? I'll slip down to the Mess, grab some breakfast and we'll spend the day doing absolutely nothing. How does that sound?"

"Like every other mandatory rest day," she says, but she's smiling now so John figures she doesn't mind after all. He doesn't remind her that it's not just any other mandatory rest day. Today's special.

He kisses her again and rests his hand against her swollen stomach, feeling the baby kick lightly against him. She hates to be touched now that her body is so heavy and foreign to her, but she doesn't swat his hand away. She accepts the gentle caress and settles for a half-hearted glare when he pulls away.

"I think you promised me breakfast," she says, eyeing the door meaningfully.

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Yes," she says. "Go. Shoo. Out. Don't come back without food. Can I make it any plainer?"

"Alright, alright," he concedes, holding his hand up in surrender. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

She throws the pillow of doom at him. "Har dee har har. As if I really have a choice."

John snickers and then wisely flees the room before she finds anything heavier to throw at him.

.::.

When John returns, tray of breakfast in one hand and a bouquet of rose-like flowers from the Botany department in the other, he's surprised to find the bed empty.

Setting the tray and flowers onto the desk, he starts toward the bathroom and palms the door open.

"Thought I told you to stay put," he says.

She glances at him through the mirror as she swipes a wet cloth over her face. "Unfortunately, nature called rather urgently and I had no choice but to answer. Again, completely your fault."

He slides his arms around her expanding waist and pulls her back against his chest, dropping a kiss to her unruly hair. "You're beautiful."

"I'm huge," she snorts in reply. "I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks."

"Gorgeous," he says. "Sexy, really."

"You're such a freak."

"Only when it comes to you," he grins. "Now, how about that breakfast?"

"Now you're talkin' sensibly. Lead the way."

He slides his hands down to her hips and squeezes gently before he pulls away and leads her out into the bedroom. She starts toward the couch, but he stops and steers her in the direction of the bed, snickering quietly at her loud groan.

"Now you're just being mean."

"How do you figure?"

"Because you know it takes me twenty minutes just to get out of the damn thing."

"All part of my master plan," John says. "Now relax, get comfortable and I'll see if I can't find us a movie we haven't watched eighty times."

"Good luck with that," Meredith says, sinking down onto the bed with a sigh. She leans forward and rubs at her lower back for a moment before she slides back, relaxing against the pillows.

John gives her a lot of credit. She's whiny under the best of circumstances and when he'd first found out she was pregnant, he feared for his sanity, but so far, she's handled it far better than he could have imagined.

Dropping the laptop onto the bed, John grabs the tray of food from the desk and carries it over. He lays it across her lap and drops a kiss to her lips before he hands her the flowers.

She eyes them skeptically for a moment before she stares up at him.

"What did you do?"

"What?"

"The last time I got flowers, you accidentally spilled the Athosian wine you were hoarding on my favorite laptop. What. Did. You. Do?"

"I didn't do anything," John says. "Don't you know what today is?"

"Sunday?"

"It's Mother's Day, Mer."

Her mouth turns down in a frown. "I'm not... why would you...?"

"Because you're the mother of my unborn child. I think that pretty much qualifies you for something," he says, sinking down on the edge of the bed beside her. He's horrified at the single tear that slides down her cheek. "Meredith."

"Shut up," she says, her voice suspiciously watery. "Just... shut up."

She's crying now and John feels like the world's biggest asshole. He's debating setting the flowers on fire when she drops them to the mattress beside her and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him into an awkward hug.

"I wasn't... I didn't expect..." she's sniffling into his neck. "It's just so thoughtful and I... I wasn't expecting it."

Hormones, he thinks as he pats her back comfortingly. She's cried more these last thirty eight weeks than the entire six years he's known her.

When she pulls away, her eyes are red and watery, so she swipes a hand over her runny nose and picks up the flowers again. It's nothing special and he wishes he could have gotten her a real gift to show her just how much he loves her right now.

Especially now, when she's left feeling unattractive and disgusting even though he thinks she's never been more beautiful.

"I love you," he tells her, his hand finding her belly again as she slumps against him, head pillowed on his shoulder. "Both of you."

"You're like a bad chick flick right now," she says fondly, sniffling again. She falls silent, picking at the dry toast on the tray for a moment before she pulls away. "Thank you. For um... remembering and actually caring enough to, you know, remind me and do something special. It's still something I'll need to get used to, I suppose."

"You have plenty of time for that," he says, kissing the top of her head. "Now... I think I promised you a movie?"

"Mmm... I can think of something else I'd rather do," she purrs. John can't help but grin because this is definitely the biggest perk of the pregnancy, other than, you know, the actual baby. "If you're up to it, that is."

John is, but he's not so sure about Meredith. "You know what Keller said about doing that this far along."

"Mmmhmm. But the sooner he gets here, the sooner I can get rid of that stupid pillow."

John can't argue with that.